A beautiful woman died today.  

You were a loving wife, mother, daughter, sister, and friend.  I sit here teary eyed thinking of the many things we did together as children.  You became one of my best friends when you and your family moved in across the street on Renfrew Place.  Along with little Laura, we’d spend all summer running all over the neighborhood trying to tag along with the older girls while Frances tried to tag along with us, hanging out at Laura’s, or in the finished room in your attic, making up shows in your backyard, Red light Green light 1 2 3, Mother May I, Hopscotch, jump rope, tag,  going to Brother’s Pizza, McDonald’s, swimming at Jackie’s, sleigh riding down Murdock Place, sliding on boxes down the hill on the side of the service road, building snow forts, playing with Barbie dolls, talking about boys we liked, going to  see your sister Geryl and Cindy and Steven on Forest Avenue, roller skating at the Ritz, Donna’s Dance studio, Ralph’s Italian ices, Pop’s for penny candy, Honey Bee, Carvel, walking to the rock quarry and to see friends in Mariner’s Harbor, jumping out the second story window onto a mattress at the abandoned house on the corner, PS 22, IS 51, Port Richmond High School Class of 1985, birthdays, communions (you got the white shoes I really wanted), confirmations, first dates, second dates, trying to get into the movie  “the Boogens”  when we were just 15 years old & after waiting at the theatre for a few hours, finally getting someone to buy the tickets for us, seeing Madonna and C-Bank at the skating rink in Staten Island with Laura, being there during those crazy adolescent times when I really needed a friend, your great smile, sharing important moments in our lives, graduations, weddings, the births of our children (even if some of it was only through Facebook or phone calls), and much more. 

We moved to different areas and hadn’t seen each other in a while, but you were always my friend and we became closer in the last year  and change through your diagnosis, surgery, and treatment through texts and messaging.  I love you and will miss you always Linda.  May Mark, your boys, your mom, sisters, extended family and friends be comforted and find peace. 

Cancer sucks and it doesn’t discriminate.

A beautiful woman died today and she will be missed. 

In loving memory of Linda Maloney Vasquez.  October 24, 1967-June 30, 2014.

Gillian and me

My recuperation has been slow going.  I have good days and not so good days. I saw one of my plastic surgeons, Dr. U last Monday (5/19).  According to Dr. U, I need to massage my scars more. Some of the scars are a bit hard.  I laughed.  I can’t walk around massaging my breasts, and butt in public! I can probably get away with massaging my belly in public though.  As I had some sort of reaction to the Mederma, the doctor recommended that I use Scar Guard (which costs over twice as much as the Mederma; $53 vs $20). The Scar Guard is applied with a small nail polish type brush.  The major issue with the Scar Guard is that it stinks! You must apply it in a well ventilated area and it is highly flammable when wet. It smells like super-glue. I use it on my breast and abdomen scars. I started using Scar sheets (with silicone) on my butt incision. 

The incision scars are still look pretty raw.  I’m not quite as swollen as I was a couple weeks ago, though my lower abdomen is still funky looking.  I’m hoping that funkiness will go away once the swelling is totally gone. I’ve used a rolling pin to massage my abdomen incision, hoping it’ll help with the swelling. We’ll see. It’s not like I’ll need the rolling pin for anything else anytime soon!

I saw my other plastic surgeon, Dr. L, on May 12th (two plastic surgeons did the reconstruction).  He told me that everything looked good and we could wait a few months to re-sculpt or reshape my right breast.  There is a bit too much tissue under my arm, which is a bit uncomfortable.  He would also make nipples at that time.  I asked about my 1/2 ass and the doctor stated that the uneven butt cheek could be filled out with fat from elsewhere on my body.  As I’m missing about half of my right butt cheek, I am no longer bootylicious!  Not sure I would do an additional surgery just to fix that, but if I’m already under anesthesia for the re-shaping, I’d do it then.  The doctor mentioned possibly lifting my left breast.  I know my breasts will never be perfect but the doctors can try to get them as close in size to each other as possible.  I like having two breasts again.  My clothes fit better and I am no longer self conscious. 

The doctor also told me that I no longer had any restrictions.  (hah hah hah).  I may not have any restrictions according to the doctor but my body certainly has some major restrictions! I actually tried doing some Tae Kwon Do last Tuesday.  I went to class but I did not do any jumping.  I was unable to do any push-ups.  Just getting into the plank position was painful enough.  I tried to do crunches.  I just barely got my head off the floor.  I can barely kick above knee level.  I used to be able to kick at face level. 
I am still having issues with my right hip.  Lifting my right leg above waist level (even to tie my shoes) is painful, but the only way I am going to get better is to work at it.  I tried to do leg-lifts. Nope! Not happening!
I joked with the doctor that I was going to do “Hip-Hop Abs” and he told me that I should do it.  Well I have tried but I can’t move my hips or waist much.  I’m working on it.  It was pretty comical trying to do the moves. 
I have been going to water therapy twice a week. This has been helping me increase my range of motion. It’s amazing how much more I can do when I am in the water. I can definitely lift my legs higher in the water than on dry land. I have also been able to stretch my abdomen more while in the water. 
I can’t run or jog. I tried last night when Gillian and I left her Tae Kwon Do test. It was pouring rain outside and I had to get to our car. I tried to jog to the car, but it was literally a pain in the butt. I had to walk and got very wet in the process.

After seeing Dr. L, I went to see my oncologist. My blood work is good. He examined me and he flushed my medi-port. He told me everything looked good and I will see him again in 3 months.

Tuesday was my daughter’s 16th Birthday. It was amazing day. First, that she is even here. After my first breast cancer diagnosis and ensuing chemotherapy, there was a chance that I may never be able to get pregnant again. Two years later, I found out I was pregnant. My daughter was born less than 3 years after my initial diagnosis. Second, that after two additional cancer diagnoses and chemotherapy and radiation, I am here to be a part of this milestone. Last Friday night, we brought 9 of her friends down to NYC, where we met some family members and had a great birthday dinner at Casa La Femme in the West Village. My daughter had a huge grin on her face the whole night. It was precious. My sons were there as well. Xavier came home from Philly (he is doing an internship at a public television station in Philly) and Christian is home another month before he does his summer term at sea.
We all dressed up and everyone looked great. I had on a “little black dress” and as I never wear flats with fancy dresses, I wore a pair of 4″ heels (including a 1/2 inch platform). I don’t have any lower heels. Not a great idea. My body was aching for two days after. No restrictions huh?

I did some gardening today. My daughter and I worked on weeding our front garden. Weeds had taken over the flower bed. I probably did too much because my abdomen is hurting now.

I will continue to update as I recover. I see the police surgeon on June 1st and will probably be back to work soon after. I am still not sleeping very well and the tip of my left index finger still doesn’t feel right. I saw my general surgeon on May 6th. When I told him about the numbness in my finger, he stated that the issue may have been caused by the arterial IV, which was started in my right inner wrist during my first surgery. He thinks a nerve was struck at the time. Hopefully these issues will improve with time.

Please continue to pray and send positive thoughts to my friend Linda and her family. Linda is living with metastatic oral cancer.

I have always been an active person. Growing up, I went to dancing school (tap, jazz, ballet, and toe). About 8 1/2 years ago I started taking Tae Kwon Do. I started bicycle riding last Spring and had gotten up to 20 miles and change. I did “Zumba” and “Hip Hop Abs”. I have always been able to walk long distances. This recovery has been difficult. I am unable to do any type of aerobic activity for 4 weeks after surgery. Today is week 4 for surgery one. However, I have another week to make week 4 after surgery two. I started walking very gingerly while in the hospital. I have done some walking on my street. The first time I tried walking up my street, I had to stop a number of times due to the pain in my right hip and running down my right leg. I thought it would get better once the drain was removed from my butt incision (the drain exited near my right hip). I walked for a bit on Saturday. I still couldn’t get very far. I am limping and still in pain. At least I can now stand upright. It’s still painful pulling my right leg up to put on socks and shoes. Twisting my body is painful. At this point, I’m not sure what type of Aerobic activity I will be able to do in a week. But, I have to walk before I run…………………………………………….

Two surgeries in two weeks. Tough. Very tough. I saw the plastic surgeon on Friday March 21st to get marked up. It was then that I found out that the original surgical plan of removing skin, fat, and tissue from my lower butt/upper thigh was out of the question. Based on the results of the MR-angiogram, there were no good arteries in the area my doctor wanted to use. Apparently my anatomy is complicated. There were good arteries in my abdomen and in my upper butt. My doctor decided that he wanted to do the DIEP flap for the reconstruction of my right breast. Usually for a double breast reconstruction, the abdomen is split and half the abdomen is used per breast. However, the doctor told me that he was going to use my whole abdomen for the right breast because I needed a lot of new skin due to the damage sustained from radiation. I would have a second surgery to remove the expander in my left breast and rebuild the breast mound using fat and tissue from my upper butt. I decided to have the surgeries as close together as possible so that I would recover quicker. I didn’t want to wait a month, start to feel better, have a second surgery, and feel like crap again. My first surgery was scheduled for March 24th and the second was scheduled for March 28th. The doctor marked up my abdomen with blue permanent magic marker. Blue dots showed where the arteries were.

Monday morning March 24th, Charles, Gillian, and I drove over to Good Samaritan Hospital. Mom met us there. We got there at around 0630 hours. After checking in and some pre-op testing, I was brought to the pre-surgical area. As usual I was freaking out a bit. The doctor said I could take a pre-surgical Xanax to help calm me down. Nurses were in and out. I spoke with my doctor. The anesthesiologist came into the room and we discussed the surgery and my penchant for puking upon waking from anesthesia. She started an IV and shortly thereafter I was wheeled into the Operating Room. At some point, 11 or so hours later, I recall speaking with and seeing my husband and daughter. I think I was in the recovery room. When I woke later, I was in Surgical ICU. I freaked out when I first woke up in my room. I wanted to get out of bed but couldn’t. A nurse injected something (Ativan?) in my IV and I was out. The first night, nurses came in every hour to check my flap with a mini Doppler type device. I also had an internal Doppler. I was happy to hear the “kwoosh-kwoosh” sound of blood flowing through the micro-surgically attached arteries. It meant the flap was working well. My pain was pretty well controlled with Tylenol and a Dilaudid pump. I had about 4 IV’s in me. My hand was all bruised up and my left index finger was numb. (My finger-my trigger finger!!- still doesn’t feel right). My fingers were so swollen they looked like sausages. I had devices strapped onto my lower legs. Air was pumped into them to keep my blood moving. This was to prevent blood clots from forming.
The following day, one of the IV’s was removed in my hand and another was started in my arm. I was receiving fluids, pain relief, and antibiotics through the IV’s. The IV in my hand was removed because it had become painful. Besides the above, I was getting shots of Heparin a few times a day, usually in my thighs. My thighs were all bruised up. Heparin, a blood thinner, was another “device” to prevent blood clots. I was also given Colace (a stool softener).
I found out later that the surgery took so long because of all of the scar tissue I had in my right breast. It took one of the doctors about 4 hours just to clean the area up and to get to the arteries and veins. Charles was going nuts during my surgery because no one came out to tell him what was going on! One of the doctors had told him the surgery would take 6-8 hours. I had previously told him 8-10 hours.

I had been placed in a surgical bra that had most of the right cup area cut away. This made it easier for the nurses to check my flap. They listened to the blood flow through the arteries. I had two purple marks on my breast so the nurses knew where to check for the blood flow. When I got a good look at my breast, it was kind of freaky looking. Definitely “Franken-boob”, with sutures all over. It was also pretty amazing to see how far medicine had advanced. I was wearing a stomach binder. Quite a bit of skin, and tissue were removed from my abdomen. The incision was huge! My new breast has the stretch marks I received carrying my beautiful children.

I was in the hospital until Friday. I got up and walked around a bit by day two, though I was unable to stand upright. The nurses were great. I had to buzz for them often on night two for help getting to the bathroom. Getting into and out of bed was difficult though I developed a system by day four. It was slow going. I’d raise the top of the bed all the way up and swing my legs around and slowly get up. Getting back into bed, I would gently sit down and get help swinging my legs back onto the bed. I was unable to lift my legs. I would then lower the top of the bed and wiggle my way up. I would then raise the top of the bed again. So as not to put pressure on the incision on my abdomen, I had to stay in an upright position, including while sleeping. (I just started sleeping normally a couple nights ago). I spent days four and five walking gingerly through the halls of the hospital. I left the hospital with two drains, one on each side of my abdomen. The one in my breast was removed prior to my release.
The first few days I could not see very well. Everything was blurry. When I told my doctor he stated that it was probably as a result of the anesthesia. At first, one of the anesthesiologists told me that I was at that age where near vision starts to go. I know I am in my 40’s but I didn’t think my vision would change in a day and I stated that. Later another anesthesiologist came in and stated that it was probably from the scopolamine. He removed the patch and stated that my vision should be better within 24 hours. Sure enough, the day after the scopolamine patch was removed, I was able to see again. It’s a miracle. I mean I am “at that age”!!

I was supposed to have my second surgery on Friday, however, on Wednesday I was feeling really crappy and I told the doctor that I wasn’t sure if I could do the surgery so soon. All of the IV’s had “blown” and were removed and I wasn’t sure whether they would be able to start another IV so soon. Thursday I was feeling a bit better and I had changed my mind. By then it was too late as one of my surgeons had another surgery scheduled for Friday. I spoke with the doctor to try to get the earliest surgery possible. They couldn’t get another date in the same hospital until April 21st. I didn’t want to start feeling well and then have surgery and start feeling like crap again. On Friday, the doctor’s office called and advised me that they could do the surgery on Monday March 31st at NY Eye and Ear Infirmary. I thought that it was a bit odd having breast surgery at NY Eye and Ear. We weren’t sure if we wanted to go down to the city. I asked if they could get availability at a hospital closer to home but there was nothing available at the hospitals the docs had privileges in. As Charles’ mom was staying at our house for about another week, we decided to go with NY Eye and Ear, that way someone would be around to take Gillian to school and to her after school activities.

Early Monday morning we headed to NYC. The horrible roads were killer on my body. We got to the hospital and had to wait a bit for registration. My mom met us there. Once I was registered, I was sent up to my room. The room was really nice and there was a couch that could be expanded enough for someone to sleep on. The nurse gave me scrubs and a hospital gown to put on. The doctor came in and marked my right butt cheek to show what area the docs would be removing to fill out my left breast. I told him how I thought having breast surgery at NY Eye and Ear was odd and he informed me that he did the first flap surgery at NY Eye and Ear in 2006. I met with the anesthesiologist and in addition to telling her about puking upon waking, I also advised her about my vision issues. We decided on using the scopolamine as puking would be tough on my incisions. Since I get a little freaked out prior to surgery, they gave me 2 Xanax pills. They brought me down to the OR by wheelchair. I couldn’t have walked because I was out of it. I was singing in the elevator on the way to the OR. They brought me into the OR (still singing) and laid me down on the table and began doing whatever it is all the doctors and nurses do to get me ready for surgery. The anesthesiologist was explaining what she was doing. She was pretty cool. She told me she was going to give me a nice cocktail (a Cosmo, I think). I told her that I preferred Strawberry Daiquiris. Shortly thereafter, I was out!!!!! This surgery took around 6-7 hours. Charles was cool though because he received regular updates. He had told the surgeon how crazy he was during the first surgery because no one told him what was going on.

I woke up in my hospital room. The first night was tough. As my blood pressure was low, all that I was given for pain was Tylenol and Motrin. The catheter was annoying. The following day, the doctor came in and asked how I was doing. I told him that I was in a lot of pain all night. He apologized. Apparently there was a misunderstanding. He thought my pain was controlled with the Tylenol and Motrin. He would have allowed some morphine. I got some morphine shortly thereafter. I’m sure I was part of the problem. I have a high tolerance for pain so every time the nurses asked what my level of pain was, I’d say 4-5. Most people probably would have said 8-9. (My blood pressure was pretty low after my first surgery and I was still allowed to use the Dilaudid. I couldn’t understand why I couldn’t get morphine). For pain, I was given Tylenol and morphine for the first few days. I was given an iron pill. I also was given Colace and I got shots of Heparin a few times a day. More bruises on my thighs. Oh, and my concern regarding IV’s, I saw a bruise on my left foot the day after surgery and was told that during surgery, one of the IV’s was in my foot.
The good part of being in a NYC hospital was that I had more visitors. My CO and co-XO visited and I had a cop with me to help me out when no family was present. The first night, the officer was busy. I was constantly asking to be fed ice chips. It definitely helped.
A couple of my sisters, my mom, and a brother-in-law, also visited while I was hospitalized. It was nice, though the morphine had me kind of out of it so I’m not sure what kind of company I was. My vision was blurry. Once again, about 24 hours after the scopolamine patch was removed, I was able to see again. The nurses were great. The cops were great and my family was great. I was released from the hospital on Thursday with a drain coming from the side of my butt. I still had the drains coming from my abdomen as well. I had to track the output from each of the drains. Once I got home, I was taking Tylenol and Tramadol for pain and Colace (stool softener). The Colace was to prevent straining as that would cause much pain to my incisions.

Sunday I ended up in the ER. I felt like crap. It hurt to breathe. I had chills and couldn’t get warm. I was sitting on my deck, in the sun, with a blanket around me. It was probably partially from dehydration due to the events of Saturday. I had a real bad day on Saturday. I won’t go into details. Just know that it was BAD and probably due to the morphine and iron pills! My incisions were hurting as were the muscles in my chest and abdomen. At the ER, they took blood, urine, did a chest X-ray (to rule out a blood clot in my lungs), and tried to start an IV in my hand. PAIN! They had to take the IV out it was so painful. The nurse, realizing I had a medi-port, accessed the port and I was given fluids through my port. It was a bit uncomfortable for some reason. All the tests results were good. The doc thinks I had a virus. I felt much better after receiving some fluid though.

I’ve been back to the doctor three times since the surgery. I had the drains removed from my abdomen on Tuesday April 8th. I went back on April 14th. I was hoping to get the drain removed from my butt incision but too much fluid was still draining. I went back yesterday and the doc removed the drain. I thought I’d feel better once the drain was removed but I was actually in more pain. It’s still pretty achy. The doctor advised me to start massaging my scars. Should be interesting. There will be no problem massaging my abdomen, but it’ll be funny massaging my breasts and butt!!!
I need to wear a girdle or compression shorts for another week or two to help with the swelling. My lower abdomen is still pretty swollen. Not sure about my butt.

Gillian was extremely helpful after my surgeries. She helped me shower and washed my hair for the first couple weeks as I couldn’t do it myself. She will be a great doctor one day.

My butt looks funky. I am now “half-assed”. Not sure if my butt will ever be even again. I guess they can do some lipo on the left side at some point to even me out. Not sure if I want that though. I can do without more surgery, though I will be going back in a couple months to re-sculpt my breasts if necessary and to make nipples.

That’s it for now. It’s been a crazy month! Each day, I am feeling a little better. Now if only I could get a full night sleep…..

Happy Easter!

I have made my decision.  I will be going with a free flap reconstruction, most likely the IGAP.  From butt to boob! I have to get an angiogram to check my blood vessels first to make sure everything is good.  But barring any unforeseen issues, I will be going for surgery on March 24th.  Not looking forward to the long anesthesia and recovery but this type of surgery is probably the best for me.

I eventually want to go back to working full duty which means wearing a uniform and a gun belt that weighs at least 25 pounds.  I thought about that before making my decision.  A TRAM flap would have meant removing muscle and tissue from my abdomen.  I couldn’t imagine how uncomfortable or painful wearing the heavy gun belt around my waist would be.

I saw the second plastic surgeon, Dr. U on Friday.  He explained the whole surgery to me and showed me a power point of a DIEP surgery.  He then explained the IGAP surgery and possible complications.  He explained that the wound recovery will probably be a little longer because of where the incisions are (I’ll be sitting on them!)  It’s crazy.  I realized doing a lot of regular things will be difficult, such as sitting on a toilet!!!!  Dr. U stated that surgery will be about 6 hours, though I thought Dr. L stated that it would be closer to 8 hours.  Dr. U stated 3-4 days in the hospital.  The length of the hospital stay depends on whether there are any complications.

Little nervous.  Tomorrow is the MR angiogram.  I don’t do well in MRI’s.  A little too tight for my liking.  I’ll deal with it though.  Xanax anyone?  Still not sure how it’s going to work out.  I was told before that my expander was incompatible with MRI’s.  The place doing the test knows this.  I guess I will find out tomorrow.

I go back to see Dr. L on Friday.  Using the MR Angiogram, he will mark up my body to show which arteries and such he will be removing to re-attach for my new breast.

I will keep you updated as I go.  Please keep me in your prayers!

I still haven’t had breast reconstruction yet, though I will soon.  I visited another plastic surgeon on Friday for a second opinion regarding reconstruction.  As for DIEP, he doesn’t recommend it.  He feels I don’t have enough fat in my stomach to make both breasts.  I need tissue/fat to fill out the left breast but I need a good deal of skin, tissue, and fat to make the whole right breast mound.  He would do IGAP, where tissue, fat, and skin are removed from my lower buttocks to make a new breast or SGAP, where the fat, tissue and skin is removed from my upper buttocks.  (I have more than enough chunk there)!  On the plus side, I would get a butt lift.

As noted in a past post, my plastic surgeon does a muscle sparing TRAM flap.  If I get this surgery, I will most likely never do a sit up, crunch, or leg lift again.  I spoke to a friend who had a TRAM flap about 5 years ago.  She said that if she had the choice, she would have gone with one of the “free flap” procedures.  This may hinder my Tae Kwon Do and my “Hip Hop Abs”.  I am concerned about the time I will be under anesthesia if I go with IGAP.  I will make my decision this week.

I started Weight Watchers last week.  I am trying to lose the chemo & steroid & menopause weight I gained over the last year and change.  I’ve been eating more fruit and veggies.  We’ll see how this goes.  I was going to wait until after surgery but surgery kept getting pushed back.

Gillian and I had a nice time together this past week.  We went up to Albany last Saturday (as opposed to this past Saturday) so Gillian could participate in a sparring exhibition.  It was nice watching her fight.  She really loves it!  Watch out for the head kicks.

Last week was “Kids Night On Broadway”.  Tickets were buy one get one free and I was able to get tickets to two shows.  (Thank you pre-sale!).  We saw “Pippin” on Tuesday night and “Lion King” on Wednesday night.  Both were wonderful but both Gillian and I loved “Pippin” the best.  “Pippin” was a more traditional Broadway show.  I got the idea to see “Pippin” while watching the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade.  They had a short excerpt which really caught my eye.  I’m glad we saw it.  Gillian and I went out to eat after the show.  Yummy steak!  We stayed over in NYC.  She sat with me at work for two hours on Tuesday (I was supposed to be off) and for about 10 hours on Wednesday.  Gillian got to see how crazy it gets when I have a “Stat” meeting.  I had a Boro Traffic Stat meeting Thursday at noon.  While I was preparing for the meeting, she sat at another desk and worked on a project for school.  We went out for lunch at “Tea & Sympathy” and then it was back to work.  We left at around 7:35 to catch Lion King.  Charles met us after the show to pick up Gillian.  I was supposed to take her home, but I had to stick around to finish getting prepared for Traffic Stat.  Instead of working 1600×0100 on Thursday, I worked 0530×1620.  Needless to say by Friday, I was exhausted!

I was supposed to have three doctor’s appointments on Friday.  I made it to one.  I am re-scheduling the other two for this week.

I see the pulmonologist next Friday to make sure lungs are all clear and I’m good to go for surgery!  I will update when I have a date.

Xavier is home for two weeks for Spring Break.  It’s nice having him home.  Chris has been coming home almost every weekend.  (With all this snow, he’s been having a blast snowboarding!)

Continue to pray for my friends battling cancer.  The fight continues for many of them.

 I had to post this pic.  Gillian tried on one of my wigs to see what she would look like with straight hair and bangs.  I think she looks cute!

Glossary:

The TRAM flap (transverse rectus abdominus myocutaneous) is a tissue flap procedure that uses muscle, fat and skin from your abdomen to create a new breast mound after a mastectomy.  This procedure takes its name from the transverse rectus abdominus muscle in your abdomen.  There are two ways to do a TRAM flap —  as a free (detatched) tissue flap, and as a pedicle (attached and tunneled) tissue flap.

DIEP breast reconstruction is an advanced technique in autologous (own tissue) transfer. DIEP is a refined version of the TRAM flap, in that the DIEP utilizes only the blood vessels, fat and skin from the abdomen. Unlike the TRAM flap, DIEP preserves the rectus abdominus muscle(s) thus allowing for preservation of abdominal strength and integrity.

The SGAP flap (superior gluteal artery perforator) is a tissue flap procedure that uses fat and skin from your upper buttock to create a new breast mound.  You won’t need to have any gluteal muscle cut or moved for a SGAP reconstruction.  This procedure takes its name from the superior gluteal artery perforator in your upper buttock.  Your plastic surgeon will use microsurgery to reconnect the artery from your tissue flap to your chest area.

The IGAP flap (inferior gluteal artery perforator) is an autologous tissue flap procedure that uses fat and skin from your lower buttock to create a new breast mound.  None of your gluteal muscle will be cut or moved for an IGAP reconstruction.  This procedure is named for the inferior gluteal artery perforator in your lower buttock.

An IGAP breast reconstruction is very similar to the SGAP procedure, and differs in only one way: IGAP uses tissue taken from your lower buttock, SGAP uses tissue from your upper buttock. Both are free flap reconstructions that use microsurgery to reconnect an artery from your tissue flap to your chest area to create a breast mound. Most women have enough tissue on their buttocks to create a new breast. The removal of skin and fat from your buttock is similar to the procedure for a buttock lift, but includes an artery and vein that will supply blood to the transplanted tissue.

It is January 19th.  Another year has ended & a new year has begun.  My birthday has passed and I’m 47 years old.  I know many women who don’t like to give their true ages, but I am thankful to be alive and I will celebrate every birthday.  I made it through Christmas with no visits to the Emergency room.   I did end up with a touch of bronchitis between Christmas and New Year’s  Day.  I’m much better now.   I got 5 pairs of earrings from my husband and kids.  Gillian and I will also be going to see “The Lion King” and “Pippin” on Broadway at the end of February.

I  saw my Plastic Surgeon last week.  (I arrived a bit late as the office moved & I wasn’t informed! I arrived at the old office, the door was locked, and the signs were not on the door.  I called the office number and got a busy signal.  I waited about 10 minutes and tried calling again.  No busy signal this time.  The receptionist informed me of the new office location, which was about 3 minutes away.  They apologized for the oversight.)  He removed about 50 cc’s of fluid from my right breast.  We also discussed reconstruction.  I’m still up in the air about my reconstruction.  Though I know that some doctors/hospitals are moving away from the TRAM flap procedure in favor of the DIEP procedure, I am not in favor of the longer anesthesia and longer hospital stay necessary for DIEP.  My plastic surgeon does not do the DIEP procedure and advised me that if that was the route I wanted to take, he would refer me to a doctor that did.  Not sure if I want a new doctor.

I saw the pulmonologist again.  He said everything looks good.  He wants me to get a follow-up chest X-Ray and see him again in 3 months.  I will probably get the X-ray done right before surgery.  I’m still going to the allergist.  I haven’t had any problems after my allergy shots for the last couple weeks.  I have to get back to the acupuncturist.  It’s been a while.  I feel better when I am going regularly.

As usual, work and home life has been crazy.  I actually started this post on the 11th and am back to working on it on the 19th.  I’ve been working crazy hours.  I have to write now because I won’t have time during the week.  Traffic Stat is on Friday.  I’ll be busy most of this week at work.  Last week, I worked Sunday evening and stayed over at work and worked Monday day.  I worked long on Monday getting work done for my Commanding Officer as she had Compstat on Thursday.  I was going to take off Tuesday and Wednesday but I still had work to get done, so I ended up working a modified late tour Monday into Tuesday (8 pm-5 am).  I drove home around Tuesday morning at 0530 hours after working out for about 40 minutes.  I got home and slept for about 6 1/2 hours.  When I got up I had a few errands to run & then I took Gillian to dance & I decided to go to Tae Kwon Do.  I’m trying to get back into my TKD.  Afterwards, we went home & I eventually fell asleep (not very well though).

I woke up Wednesday morning and Charles, Christian, & I drove into NJ.  We dropped Charles off at a surgical center at around 10:15. Charles needed to be at the surgical center at 11:15 for arthroscopic  knee surgery (#7).   I then drove Christian down to Maritime.  We got there around 11:30.  We brought all of his stuff up to his room & then I left Maritime to head back to the surgical center to pick up Charles post surgery.  I got stuck in a crap ton of traffic at the George Washington Bridge (roving pot hole repair).  I made two stops on the way back to the center.  While at my second stop, I got a text from Charles asking when I would be back to the surgical center to get his wallet and cell phone.  I was surprised.  I figured he’d be getting his surgery by that point (it was around 1 pm).  Apparently he had been lying in a gurney for about 2 hours waiting.  I got to the center about 15 minutes later.  I sat with him for about 20 more minutes before they brought him in for surgery.  I guess there were some delays.  About forty or so  minutes later the doctor came out to tell me how everything went (he removed bone chips and cartilage from Charles’ left knee).  I waited about another 20 minutes before I could see Charles.  A nurse came over, removed his IV and I helped get Charles get dressed and we eventually left.  I had to make a few more stops on the way home (pharmacy and such).  By then, I was exhausted.  I was thinking about going to Tae Kwon Do, but I was pretty spent at that point.  Xavier picked Gillian up from school and drove her to Tae Kwon Do.  Charles was on the couch with frozen peas on his knee.  (He alternated between frozen peas and frozen fruit).

Thursday morning I hoped to get to Tae Kwon Do but I was tired and I had to be at work by 1pm, so I didn’t make it.  I checked on Charles and made sure he had enough ice and frozen peas for his knee.  (Xavier stayed home to take care of him).  I worked until around 2230 hours and stayed over at work to start again at 6 am Friday morning.  I worked on some communications and during my meal break, I worked out on the elliptical machine for about 45 minutes.  I left work about an hour early and drove home.  As I was on the way home, Christian called and asked if I could pick him up at the train station as he was going to come home for the weekend.  I explained that I would be running around, so I couldn’t.  I  believe his girlfriend picked him up.  When I got home, I grabbed a few things and I was back in the car at around 4 pm with Xavier.  We drove down to my sister Monica’s house in NJ.  There was a lot of traffic as we were driving during rush hour & a trip that would normally take an hour and 20 minutes, took two and a half hours.  We relaxed and ate dinner at Monica’s house and then Monica, Xavier, and I headed down to pick up Xavier’s girlfriend Nessa.  This was about another hour and a half or so.  After a quick stop there (Hi Lynne!), and a much needed tea/coffee stop at Dunkin Donuts, we headed down to Temple University.   (While driving down Broad Street in Philly we saw a bunch of cop cars and news vans in various areas including near Einstein Hospital, Nessa informed us that there had been a school shooting that day at a HS in Philly.  Thank God nobody was killed).  We dropped off Xavier and Nessa and Monica and I started back to Monica’s house.  I definitely appreciated the company.  Another hour and a half of driving.    We got back to Monica’s, talked a bit, and then went to bed.  All told, I drove close to 8 hours on Thursday.  Gillian was home taking care of Charles Friday evening and Saturday.

Saturday morning, I had some breakfast, made by Julia, mom stopped over and we spoke a bit, and then I headed home (another hour and a half).  By the time I got home, I was wiped out.  I laid down on the couch and slept for a few hours.  I didn’t do much of anything on Saturday.  I took it easy.

Sunday morning.  Gillian and I went to Church.  She was an altar server.  We went food shopping, stopped at the library, and CVS.  We got home and put the groceries away.  I did some laundry and then I drove Christian down to Suffern to catch the train down to Penn Station.  I drove back home and made something to eat.  Charles is starting to feel better.  His knee is quite as swollen as it was.  He has stitches in his knee  but he has a follow-up on Thursday and they will probably be removed.  My peas and frozen fruit are unfit for human consumption but they work well as ice packs.  (If you ever come for dinner, I’d be concerned if we serve peas!)

I am tired but I am still up.   I will go to sleep soon but I have a lot on my mind.  Still thinking about the upcoming surgery.  I definitely am not looking forward to it but on the other hand, I want to get it over with.  I am tired of having only one breast.  I didn’t bother me before but lately I find I am more self conscious.  I don’t know why.

I am praying that this year will be a much better year for me and my family and to all of my friends.  Please keep your prayers going for me and for my various friends who are still going through cancer treatment.

Goodnight!

Everyone please say a prayer for my childhood friend Linda.  She has been fighting oral cancer and a mass was recently discovered in her lung.  Also pray for Philip, a high school friend fighting cancer.  I can’t forget about my Little Pink family: Katrina, Dawn, Connie, Connie,  Jennifer and the woman who brought us together: Jeanine.  CANCER SUCKS!

I’ve been very busy with work lately.  Between Domstat, BLAST, and TrafficStat, I’ve been working more than I hoped.  When I have these meetings, I usually don’t sleep the night before because I am preparing.  I don’t want to make a fool of myself.  As I’ve been busy, I haven’t been able to update my blog as often as I’d like (of course that damn “Candy Crush”  could be partly to blame).  We have all also gotten into “The Big Bang Theory” so we’ve been watching all of the reruns.  The show is hysterical and laughing is great for anyone.  Laughter truly is the best medicine.  But I digress….

Friday October 11th was “Pink Friday” in Warwick.  I planned on going with Gillian.  It ran from 3 pm-9pm and I had hoped to get home by 6 or so.  Christian met up with me at work & we started home.  Traffic utterly sucked that afternoon & it took us over 2 1/2 hours to get home.  Gillian and I then headed into the village.  We walked by a tattoo parlor and they were running a special on pink ribbon tattoos.  We had gone to “Pink Friday” last year and the shop was running a special as well but I had been going through chemotherapy.  I still wanted a tattoo.  Gillian and I decided to walk around a bit first.  We checked out some of the booths on Railroad Avenue & then we headed back to the tattoo shop.  I picked out a pink ribbon and worked with one of the artists to make the sketch smaller for and to add the kid’s initials.  We decided on the finished product and then a stencil was made.  Gillian went back out to watch a band while I got the tattoo.  I think it came out rather nice.

I still feel like I live in doctors’ offices.  I’ve been back to see Dr. W to remove more fluid from my breast area.  I see him again next week.  Fluid continues to build up in the “pocket”.   I’m not sure when I will go for reconstruction surgery.  I was supposed to go for surgery in November but Dr. G doesn’t want me to have surgery until I see him again (which will be the 1st week of December).  I don’t know if I want to have major surgery right before Christmas so I’ll probably wait until the new year.

I was coming down with a cold a week and a half ago, as the weather was changing, and I hadn’t slept well the week prior so I was run down.  As my colds tend to progress and I end up with bronchitis, I decided to see my general practitioner, Dr. S.  I told him about the pleural effusion.  He listened to my lungs and wasn’t very concerned.  He told me that if there was fluid, it wasn’t much as he didn’t hear any decreased breathe sounds.  My asthma was acting up a bit though, so he put me on steroids and antibiotics and I’ve been using my nebulizer.  I’m feeling better.

I’ve gone back to Dr. S for more acupuncture.  I got busy during the summer with vacation and work so I hadn’t gone for acupuncture for about two months.  I had been experiencing pain traveling down the outside of my lower right leg, especially after wearing high heels.  Acupuncture helped.  I went for acupuncture this Monday.  I worked late Sunday night and only slept a couple hours.  After work Monday, I went to acupuncture.  Dr. S put around 30 needles in me (legs, stomach, head, face, ear, arms) and I fell asleep.  I don’t normally sleep during acupuncture.  When I woke up 45 minutes later, I felt refreshed.  I then went to the allergist for my allergy shots and then went to a chiropractor I met during “Pink Friday”.

I had originally seen the chiropractor last week and was following up with the results.  He did some type of nutritional/applied kinesiology type testing on me.  It was very bizarre.  He told me that despite all that I had been through, the tests revealed that I was pretty strong.  He also stated that he’d be able to help me out.  I have to do more research before I commit though.  The program which includes nutritional supplements would take at least 12 weeks or more and it isn’t cheap.  He stated that chemicals, medications, and scars were affecting my body functions.

Charles purchased a Ninja blender from Kohl’s and we’ve been making more fresh fruit & vegetable smoothies.  The blender liquefies everything.  Carrots, apples, kale, cucumbers, beets, etc, with just a little bit of water.  We don’t even have to peel or core anything.   I try to have one smoothie every other day.  I need to start getting back into shape and eating better.

Gillian and I participated in “Making Strides Against Breast Cancer” on October 20th.  It was great to see all of the participants in a sea of pink.  The number of survivors present was inspiring.  Gillian and I sprayed our hair pink & Gillian wore a pink boa. My hair looks pinker because the gray hairs in the front of my head soaked up the pink spray nicely!  Thanks so much to everyone who supported me and Gillian.  I pray that a cure will be found for cancer in this lifetime.   After the walk, Gillian and I went to breakfast together and then to church.  Gillian ended up altar serving, pink hair and all, as there was only one other server and he was new to altar serving.

On October 24th, Gillian accompanied me to the Theodore Roosevelt Awards Dinner at the Harmonie Club on East 60th Street in NYC.  The Roosevelt Awards are given to members of the Police Department who suffered some type of debilitating injury or illness and return to full duty.  Four members of the service (MOS) were recognized.  It was a lovely ceremony and dinner/dance.  All previous awardees and a guest were invited as well. The NYPD band was the entertainment and they were excellent.  We did a little dancing and singing and had a great time with all of my friends.  I bought Gillian a new blue dress for the occasion.  I wore one of my purple dresses.  Gillian straightened her hair the day before.  It took her over 3 hours but her hair looked lovely.

Gillian dressed like a zombie bride on Halloween.  She wore her costume to school and left it on to hand out candy to the trick or treaters.  I was at work and didn’t get home until 9 pm so I missed all the action.  It was a little depressing to be at work.  I am on Restricted Duty, which means I can’t go out on patrol.  I take care of a lot of the administrative issues.  The Halloween Parade is a big deal in the West Village on Halloween.  I really missed being a part of it.  I know I’m not ready to work “Full Duty” because the four days I work now are taking a lot out of me, but it was sad to see all the cops showing up at the precinct to get ready for the parade and to see the spectators and participants walking by in their Halloween Costumes.  I did my part for Halloween though.  I wore black and orange and put a little purple in my gray hair to get into the spirit.

I went to lunch with some old friends, Kevin & Christine.  It was great reminiscing about old times on the Job and some of the old-timers we worked with.

I’ve got to get some sleep.  I hope to update my blog more often.  Hopefully next time I won’t delete my whole blog while I’m typing it.

Much love to everyone!