I went back to work June 16th (and had a bunch of the family stop by the precinct for a visit. Thank you Lisa for informing me that my blog helped someone. That is part of the reason I blog).

For about a month or so, I was on light duty. I went to see the Police Surgeon and he asked when I would be able to go back to full duty because if I didn’t get back to full duty soon, I would be “surveyed off”. (Basically I’d be forced to retire on disability, though as I have over 20 years on the NYPD, I would retire on a service retirement). As we have two sons in college and getting a life insurance policy would be prohibitively expensive, I was not looking to retire for a couple of years. I told the Police Surgeon to put me back to full duty the following week. I let my bosses know that I would be coming back to full duty.
My major concern with going back to full duty was having to stand for 10-12 hours at the many parades that occur in Manhattan. I still can’t sit or stand for an extended period. If I sit for a long while, when I get up, I limp for a bit. If I stand for too long, I experience pain down my right leg and in my hip. I was also concerned with wearing a 25-30 pound gun belt around my waist, sitting over the scar the extends from hip to hip. I informed one of my bosses and he stated that they would try to keep from assigning me to parades, however, they were hoping that I could take some “duties”. If you have the duty, you respond to major jobs and incidents, especially in precincts where the CO or XO aren’t working. You also visit the various precincts, PSA’s, Transit Districts, and fixed posts in your “Patrol Borough”. I stated that I didn’t think the “duties” would be a problem. Another concern is my lingering “chemo brain”. I still suffer from “CRS” aka “can’t remember shit”. I’m hoping I won’t have to make any quick decisions because, at times, it takes me a little while to collect my thoughts and verbalize them coherently. I hope with time, this side effect will lessen.

The following week, I was back on full duty and back in uniform. I had purchased a pair of uniform pants that were specifically made for women, so the waistband was lower than the usual duty pants. The uniform wasn’t very comfortable but, I figured I could deal with it. My first duty wasn’t very comfortable either as I had to get into and out of the patrol car a number of times while making my precinct visits. I had one additional duty that week. I got through them though.
I went on vacation the week after. The break was definitely needed after all of the surgeries. I saw the Plastic Surgeon the day before we flew to Florida. Dr. U injected a pain killer and a steroid into various areas in my scars. Even after all of the massaging of the various scars and wearing scar strips and using vitamin E & other cream, parts of my scars were hard. The doctor injected the hardened scars to try to break up the scar tissue. I also had one area on the right side of my abdomen that would hurt whenever I massaged the scar. Dr. U had previously injected that area. The injections helped with the pain. I still have a lot of itchiness on the scars. This worsens at the end of the day. I have to schedule my revision surgery but I’m not in a rush. I’m not looking forward to more surgery but I’ve got to get it done. There is too much “boob” going into my armpit and this is uncomfortable.

under arm boob

abdomen scar

We had a nice time down in Orlando. I have only a slight recollection of the flight down to Florida. I get very anxious while I fly & usually take a low dose of Xanax prior to a flight. I think the doctor gave me a higher dose than usual. I was out for most of the flight. Charles & Gillian had a few laughs at my expense (I found out later). For the flight home, I took 1/3 of a pill, which was just fine. It took the edge off and I didn’t freak out. (Crap- I just looked up the dosages. It was about 5x higher than what I had been prescribed in the past. I’m surprised I remembered any part of the flight!)
Charles, Gillian, and I stayed at a Disney Resort. We spent most of our time at the resort. Mornings were spent by the pool and relaxing. All three of us went to the Magic Kingdom a couple days after we got there. We stayed at the park for 4-5 hours or so and went on a few rides. It was too hot to stay all day. Charles’ knees were killing him from walking/standing on lines. He sat while Gillian and I waited for and went on a couple rides. I was alright except for when we had to stand on long lines. There was one ride that supposedly had a 40 minute wait. It was more like 70 minutes. That was a killer! As previously stated, I can’t sit or stand for too long. We were able to get 3 “Fast Passes” (the limit) before we arrived at the Park & one additional while we were at the park which made things a little easier as we didn’t have to run all over the park to get passes. FYI- If you get the Fast Passes prior to arrival at the park, make sure the times you pick for the rides are early and close to each other as you can’t get any more ride passes at the park until the 3 passes are used.
I had stopped by Guest Services prior to going into the park but I was advised that Disney no longer gives “passes” for mobility issues. They only give ride passes for the severely autistic. The woman recommended a wheelchair but neither Charles nor I wanted one. This was quite a difference from two years ago. (While I was going through chemotherapy, I received a pass. As the rules changed because people were abusing the privilege by hiring people in wheelchairs, I’m not sure if Disney would give a ride pass to people actively going through chemo treatment. I should have asked so that I could pass that information on).

A few days later, Gillian and I went to Universal Studios. We had to see “Harry Potter” land. I paid the extra $80 per ticket for the “Express Pass” so that we wouldn’t have to wait in long lines. When we got to the park & got the actual Express Pass, I found out that the Express Pass was no good for the Harry Potter rides. That’s why I got the pass in the first place. I hadn’t been to Universal in years and had forgotten about the “single rider” line. I could have saved a bit of money! The Express Pass lines were definitely quicker but the “single rider” line was even quicker still.
We got on the “single rider” line for “Harry Potter and the Forbidden Journey” in “Hogwarts Castle” and we got on the ride pretty quickly. I was OK for most of the ride but towards the end of the ride, I thought I was going to puke. I can deal with some of the virtual reality types rides, but this wasn’t one of them. I couldn’t wait for the ride to end. I will NEVER go on that ride again. Hogsmeade and Diagon Alley were really cool, as was the Hogwarts Express and “Harry Potter and the Escape from Gringotts”. Prior to taking the Hogwarts Express to “London”, Gillian and I went on a couple of water rides. To say that we got saturated, is an understatement. Can anyone say, “Chafing!” Denim is not fun to wear when wet. It does not dry quickly.

We made it back home safely and I spent the past week taking it easy. We went to the movies, worked out a little, read a lot, visited family (love you baby Parker!), watching “Shark Week” and this Wednesday, Charles picked Chris up from Maritime. We hadn’t seen him in over 45 days as he had been at sea during his Summer Sea Term. Christian had a great time. Xavier came home this weekend to see his brother. It was great to have everyone together.

I’m still hoping to test for my second degree black belt sometime in the near future. It is very difficult to do sit-ups and the various bounce type kicks. I still can’t do a push up as it is painful….but I will get it done. Last year I went to a luncheon and Dick Cheney was one of the speakers. Mr. Cheney had 3 heart attacks prior to becoming the Vice President of the US and has since had a heart transplant. I’m a 3 time breast cancer survivor. I won’t give up.

Back to work on Sunday! I’m going to miss my vacation.

Please keep sending your thoughts and prayers this way…

Gladioli are finally blooming. They make me think of Dad. Thanks so much Veronica for helping me plant the garden.