Gillian and me

My recuperation has been slow going.  I have good days and not so good days. I saw one of my plastic surgeons, Dr. U last Monday (5/19).  According to Dr. U, I need to massage my scars more. Some of the scars are a bit hard.  I laughed.  I can’t walk around massaging my breasts, and butt in public! I can probably get away with massaging my belly in public though.  As I had some sort of reaction to the Mederma, the doctor recommended that I use Scar Guard (which costs over twice as much as the Mederma; $53 vs $20). The Scar Guard is applied with a small nail polish type brush.  The major issue with the Scar Guard is that it stinks! You must apply it in a well ventilated area and it is highly flammable when wet. It smells like super-glue. I use it on my breast and abdomen scars. I started using Scar sheets (with silicone) on my butt incision. 

The incision scars are still look pretty raw.  I’m not quite as swollen as I was a couple weeks ago, though my lower abdomen is still funky looking.  I’m hoping that funkiness will go away once the swelling is totally gone. I’ve used a rolling pin to massage my abdomen incision, hoping it’ll help with the swelling. We’ll see. It’s not like I’ll need the rolling pin for anything else anytime soon!

I saw my other plastic surgeon, Dr. L, on May 12th (two plastic surgeons did the reconstruction).  He told me that everything looked good and we could wait a few months to re-sculpt or reshape my right breast.  There is a bit too much tissue under my arm, which is a bit uncomfortable.  He would also make nipples at that time.  I asked about my 1/2 ass and the doctor stated that the uneven butt cheek could be filled out with fat from elsewhere on my body.  As I’m missing about half of my right butt cheek, I am no longer bootylicious!  Not sure I would do an additional surgery just to fix that, but if I’m already under anesthesia for the re-shaping, I’d do it then.  The doctor mentioned possibly lifting my left breast.  I know my breasts will never be perfect but the doctors can try to get them as close in size to each other as possible.  I like having two breasts again.  My clothes fit better and I am no longer self conscious. 

The doctor also told me that I no longer had any restrictions.  (hah hah hah).  I may not have any restrictions according to the doctor but my body certainly has some major restrictions! I actually tried doing some Tae Kwon Do last Tuesday.  I went to class but I did not do any jumping.  I was unable to do any push-ups.  Just getting into the plank position was painful enough.  I tried to do crunches.  I just barely got my head off the floor.  I can barely kick above knee level.  I used to be able to kick at face level. 
I am still having issues with my right hip.  Lifting my right leg above waist level (even to tie my shoes) is painful, but the only way I am going to get better is to work at it.  I tried to do leg-lifts. Nope! Not happening!
I joked with the doctor that I was going to do “Hip-Hop Abs” and he told me that I should do it.  Well I have tried but I can’t move my hips or waist much.  I’m working on it.  It was pretty comical trying to do the moves. 
I have been going to water therapy twice a week. This has been helping me increase my range of motion. It’s amazing how much more I can do when I am in the water. I can definitely lift my legs higher in the water than on dry land. I have also been able to stretch my abdomen more while in the water. 
I can’t run or jog. I tried last night when Gillian and I left her Tae Kwon Do test. It was pouring rain outside and I had to get to our car. I tried to jog to the car, but it was literally a pain in the butt. I had to walk and got very wet in the process.

After seeing Dr. L, I went to see my oncologist. My blood work is good. He examined me and he flushed my medi-port. He told me everything looked good and I will see him again in 3 months.

Tuesday was my daughter’s 16th Birthday. It was amazing day. First, that she is even here. After my first breast cancer diagnosis and ensuing chemotherapy, there was a chance that I may never be able to get pregnant again. Two years later, I found out I was pregnant. My daughter was born less than 3 years after my initial diagnosis. Second, that after two additional cancer diagnoses and chemotherapy and radiation, I am here to be a part of this milestone. Last Friday night, we brought 9 of her friends down to NYC, where we met some family members and had a great birthday dinner at Casa La Femme in the West Village. My daughter had a huge grin on her face the whole night. It was precious. My sons were there as well. Xavier came home from Philly (he is doing an internship at a public television station in Philly) and Christian is home another month before he does his summer term at sea.
We all dressed up and everyone looked great. I had on a “little black dress” and as I never wear flats with fancy dresses, I wore a pair of 4″ heels (including a 1/2 inch platform). I don’t have any lower heels. Not a great idea. My body was aching for two days after. No restrictions huh?

I did some gardening today. My daughter and I worked on weeding our front garden. Weeds had taken over the flower bed. I probably did too much because my abdomen is hurting now.

I will continue to update as I recover. I see the police surgeon on June 1st and will probably be back to work soon after. I am still not sleeping very well and the tip of my left index finger still doesn’t feel right. I saw my general surgeon on May 6th. When I told him about the numbness in my finger, he stated that the issue may have been caused by the arterial IV, which was started in my right inner wrist during my first surgery. He thinks a nerve was struck at the time. Hopefully these issues will improve with time.

Please continue to pray and send positive thoughts to my friend Linda and her family. Linda is living with metastatic oral cancer.