I had chemo today. I had my mom and Xavier with me.  (Mom brought up a homemade blueberry pie for Charles.  He and Chris ate half while I was at chemo).  Nurse G couldn’t get blood from my port.  We tried all the usual tricks and she couldn’t even get a tinge of blood so she had to draw from my arm.  God willing, next Tuesday will be my last chemo treatment.  I’m getting tired.  Over a year and a half of this shit is enough.

The usual side effects are kicking in.  My face is tingling, my feet are numb, my body aches, I’m queasy, and though I am tired, I can’t sleep.  And one of the worse side effects, I call CRS also known as Can’t Remember Shit! Even simple words.  I just have to point at things sometimes or I make up new words.  (I still think pauserizer aka the remote control, should be in the dictionary).  My hair doesn’t seem to be falling out anymore though.  It is still growing and getting thicker and possibly a little curly. Oh and I forgot to mention the breast discomfort and itching.  I can’t stand wearing a bra.  When I do it’s usually wear a sport bra, but they drive me nuts as well.  I try to wear the loosest ones that I own.  At night, I am usually sitting on the couch with an ice pack over my right breast area.  I hope at some point I won’t have to have a frosty boob (or lack thereof) in order to be comfortable.

Prior to chemo, Gillian and I did a ten mile bike ride on the Heritage Trail.  I’ve got to work out when I  can.  (The doctor at my WTC monitoring appointment told me that regular exercise can prevent recurrence.  I already knew that and prior to my recurrence, I practiced Tae Kwon Do, I walked regularly, danced, etc).  I’ve gotten Gillian out there on the trail twice with me.  Charles picked up a bike rack for my car.  It made everything much easier.  The last time Gillian and I road together I shoved both bikes in my trunk & screwed up the  gears on my bike, which I had recently gotten fixed.  I’ve got to go back to the bike shop & get them fixed again.

I saw Dr. W a week and a half ago.  I was off by 30 cc’s.  He took out about 70 cc’s of fluid from my right breast.  I see him again on Friday.  He’ll probably have to take out 70 more.  Dr. W doesn’t see a problem with the fluid as it is keeping the “pocket” intact and he’ll be able to place another tissue expander in.  My problem is that I don’t think I want another expander or an implant.  With nothing there, my breast is itchy and achy and I’ve got a decent amount of scar tissue, most likely from the radiation.  If any one out there has had the flap surgery, I’d definitely like to hear from them and get their opinion.  I know the recovery is worse but how were the results in the long term?  With an expander, it will take a while to fill up and then I need an additional surgery to replace the expander with an implant and if I have any problems with the implant……more surgery.  I’m just about surgeried out!

I had a crazy week with my weight.  Damn steroids and constipation!  I’ve been weighing myself a lot since I’ve started chemo.  I have about an extra 20 pounds on my 5’6″ frame (mostly my belly) thanks to my treatment.  Well, over less than a week, I put on 4 pounds.  I called Dr. D because I freaked out.  He wasn’t concerned.  It’s the steroids and the weight should come off when I am done with treatment.  I weighed myself yesterday, I lost 4 1/2 pounds in a couple days.  Very bizarre. Of course when I got weighed today at my doctor’s appointment, I was a pound heavier than the weight I was at home.   I’ve been comparing chemotherapy to pregnancy as the side effects are similar (nausea, weight gain, cravings, etc).  I was going to say that the outcomes weren’t similar but as I was typing I realized that to me, they are.  It’s LIFE.

My throat has been bothering me for about a week and a half.  It hurt if I leaned my head back or touched the front of my throat.  I was also having some trouble swallowing food.  It almost felt like my throat was closing, but it wasn’t.  I wasn’t having problems breathing.   It seems to have gotten a bit better.  I mentioned it to Dr. G and Dr. D and neither felt anything.  Dr. G said it could be  side effect of my asthma meds and if I still have a problem in a week, I should see an ENT doctor (ear, nose & throat), that way they can put a scope down my throat & see if it all looks good.  I may make an appointment soon.  Better to know and put my mind at ease.  I don’t need another reason to keep me awake at night.

I went to the city on Sunday with Xavier and Nessa.  Nessa was craving some Brit food.  We visited with my friend Sean at Tea & Sympathy.  I love their scones with clotted cream and jam and their iced tea!!!!  We also stopped by Casa la Femme but alas, my friends were not there.  Xavier and I wanted to say hi. We will have to stop by another time before Xavier goes back to school.

Acupuncture tomorrow.  I looked like a human pin cushion last Monday.  I had at least 30 needles on my legs, arms, abdomen, face and head.  I’m not sure what it’s doing for me but my sinuses seem a bit better.  My arm has gotten better as well but every now and then I get a twinge of pain in my elbow.

I hope everyone had a wonderful 4th of July.  I stopped at two different BBQ‘s and then spent the evening on my back deck watching the sky to see fireworks being set off in the neighborhood.  It wasn’t as good as the fireworks in NYC, but it was relaxing.

I am still looking forward to our trip to North Carolina.  It’ll be our last vacation with Chris before he leaves for school.